I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
