I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
