just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
