I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
