I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
