Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
