i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
