But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
