Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
