So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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