mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
how does that bad decision feel?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize