I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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