I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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