You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
