i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
that is very illegal...i love you.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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