I must be too annoying 4 u.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
