why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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