this boner is exhausting
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
