Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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