It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
