apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
