i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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