Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
