I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
This girl is more easily done than said...
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
