hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Send help, water and tortillas.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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