we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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