how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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