my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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