I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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