god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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