I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
