their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
