Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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