I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
