Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
No subtext here. People are naked.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
