Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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