He kissed a someone with a penis
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
