Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
