Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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