How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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