Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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