apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
