I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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