dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
