Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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