YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
God, I missed his penis.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
