found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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