Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
it's great music for shaving your balls
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He did a backflip because drugs
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