hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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