like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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