is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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