I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
