you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
