Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My vagina is officially offended.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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